Tricks Before Treats
by GoldenMoonshine
Summary: Roy decides to pull a trick on Neko!Edward with the help of Hughes. Perverse thoughts and cross dressing ensues. Rated to be safe. : Happy Halloween everyone! Oneshot!


Melu: ...XD I am so gunna be SHOT for this. Oh yes. At first, I just did a little picture, but after my good friend Stephanie saw it, she urged me to write a fanfic to it. So, this one's dedicated to her, y'all! Now as you know, I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist. Keep telling yourselves that, dearies. Toodles!

**Warnings:** Perverse themes and Ed's mouth. It can be taken as yaoi/shounen-ai fluff? XD

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**_HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERBODY!_**

"Okay Ed. I know by now I should be able to trust you on your missions. But after _this_?! Fullmetal, do you realize the trouble you put me in? What if the Fuhrer finds out what happened to you? And you're not even the least bit concerned about being a..._chimera._" Colonel Roy Mustang sighed as his explanations barely reached the young blond alchemist.

"I didn't mean to..." Roy sighed and stood up. "I'm going to get Hughes. Maybe his picture-flashing rave can make you more alert. Do _not _touch anything, you hear me?" Roy then left the room, leaving the blond neko chimera to rest.

But as soon as the man left, Edward gazed around. His eyes landed on the blue chair seated at Roy's desk. Boy, did it look more comfortable than this plastic chair he was occupying... After making sure Roy wouldn't be back any time soon, Edward got up and crept around the desk to sit down in the chair. Yes, it was definitely more comfortable than the plastic chair.

Edward yawned in a very cat-like fashion, fangs poking out awkwardly. Maybe a little cat-nap wouldn't hurt. Surely he'd wake up before Roy got away from the family-obsessed lieutenant colonel.

"I'm telling you, Hughes. He's not staying awake and I need him to fo—," Roy paused as they made it into the office. There the boy was, dead to the world, light snoring coming from him. Hughes merely stared. "Wow, you weren't kidding. He's shorter than normal. See, his feet don't even touch the floor." Indeed, the neko's feet dangled just a few inches higher than they normally did. Roy frowned.

"I told him not to touch anything..." Hughes shrugged. Then, smirked. An awfully _nasty _smirk. "Hey, Roy? Got any costumes on you?" Roy blinked. "Why? Of course I—Oh...wait a second..." Roy got the same smirk on his face, going over to the closet and pulling the door open. He stood up on tip toes to reach a rather small box sitting on the top shelf, pulling it down.

"What's that?" Hughes asked, ambling closer for a better look as Roy removed the lid. "One of my dates left me a remember-me present last year," Roy pulled the outfit out, and Hughes had to bite back a smart comment, "and no, before you go saying I'm an old perverted man with absolutely nothing else to do with my time, this was the girl's graduate uniform from her primary class. I don't know why she wanted me to keep it..."

"And yet, you did." Hughes said sarcastically, honestly not surprised. Roy held the outfit out to his friend. It was a deep pink, almost violet color. It was definitely a female's uniform. "So, anyways." Roy cleared his throat. "Shall we?" He sneered amusedly towards Ed, who was completely unaware. "Yes, we shall."

Hughes moved behind Edward to untie his braid, running his fingers through the hair a bit. "His hair is soft. I wonder what kind of shampoo he uses." Roy shrugged, before pausing. "And just how are we going to put him in this without waking him up?" He asked. Hughes grinned. "He won't wake up. Trust me. My precious little Elicia can sleep through a thunder storm!" Hughes suddenly went into 'gushing' mode. Roy rolled his eyes as he carefully scooted the chair back.

"Keep it down, will you?" He hissed. He carefully picked Edward up, before moving him to the couch. "Wow...without his metal limbs, Fullmetal is really light." He muttered. He then carefully pulled Edward's jacket off, frowning. "He needs to ditch this. It's old." He said distastefully. He dropped the red garment to the floor, before working on his tank top. "Hughes, come get his pants for me, will you?" Hughes paused, before wandering over. "Fine..." He then went on to mumble something about perverted colonels, Roy choosing to ignore him. Roy discarded the tank top, before snorting. "Wow, he has a figure. He's more feminine than he let's on."

Hughes sputtered, glaring. "Oh come on Roy, he's just a kid. Don't go down that road on me." The man shivered as he discarded the leather pants. "Why does he wear leather anyways?" Hughes asked. Roy actually stopped. "...Wow. I never actually wondered why." He mumbled. He then threw caution to the wind, shrugging. "Maybe he wants to attract that Winry girl's attention or something." He then moved Edward into a sitting position, freezing only a few centimeters away from the blond's face as he let out a rather loud yawn, a fang glinting dangerously in the fluorescent lighting.

"Oh shit..." Roy let out a held sigh of relief as the kid started dozing again. "We better make this quick." Roy then grabbed the shirt, pulling it over Edward's head. After pulling his arms through, he looked over at Hughes. "Skirt." He said, holding his hand out. Hughes blinked, grudgingly holding the garment out. Roy grabbed it and pulled it up over Edward's thighs, stepping back to admire his handiwork.

"Alrighty, then! Let's get this little bugger back over to the desk." Hughes took the liberty of carrying Edward back to the chair, setting him down. He then went around to the front of the desk. "Aw! He looks just like a little girl! But wait. Something is missing..." Hughes paused, before a light bulb went off over his head. He then pulled out a purple barrette, a pink heart design overlapping it. "This'll work." He said, before fastening it into Edward's hair. "I've _got _to get my camera!" He said excitedly. He quickly left to retrieve the sacred object, leaving Roy to look over their job well done.

"He does look like a girl..." Roy mumbled thoughtfully. In fact, it was simply adorable. And the cat ears matched just perfectly. Roy then paused as the blond's left ear twitched, and he started to stir. Roy blanched. Oh good God. He hadn't thought of the consequences...

Hughes burst through the door, effectively awakening the blond neko. Edward sat straight up, looking around wildly. After figuring out where he was, he calmed. He then blinked, finding it unusual that he felt oddly...bare. He looked down, then looked back up as a tinge of red covered his cheeks. "What the—?!" There was a flash as Hughes snapped a picture. "Sorry Edward! We just had to do it!" He said, laughing apologetically. Roy didn't look too happy at being caught.

"What the hell are you old perverts doing?! Were you taking advantage of..." Edward trailed off, his face going white. "Oh please tell me you didn't..."

"Relax, Fullmetal." Roy said. "We were only playing a little Halloween joke on you. Remember. It's either _Trick, _or Treat. And you, my adorably blond subordinate, have been tricked."


End file.
